*help here~~*

hmmm.. i need help now.. sian.. dunno how to quit my job now.. was suppose to quit after today.. but guess wat.. horace(my superior if u dunno) told me 2 weeks before tat march im working.. wat the………….. haiz.. its like am i really suppose to tell them on the first day of feb den i last day of feb not working liao? sian.. hmmm.. some more today nvr get my pay yet.. gotta wait for tml.. dun even know is it 800 bucks anot.. coz i took quit a number of leave.. =/
hmmm… sian man.. work till so stress up like tat.. but good thing is tat me and my work mate adeline on good terms liao.. hmm.. neways.. sian.. jus dunno wat to say liao.. no comments!

work oso so jialat la.. sian.. always give paper cut my hand.. this job is giving me crap.. haiz.. sian.. shall not blog bout unhappy things liao.. hmmm.. =)

sian man.. now life is so boring.. ~.~
everyday same routine.. sian.. now eating noodles..sian.. so broke.. feel so broke.. sound so broke.. look so broke.. and im REALLY broke.. -.-”

okies.. im laming now.. hmmm.. okies ba.. hmmm.. go liao.. tatas…









*ciao* *hmmm.. =( *

do u understand?

do u understand? haiz.. its not i dun wan to reply u.. or even dun wan to sms u.. jus tat i dunno how to approach the qn.. hmm.. indeed.. i wan to take time to forget u.. but there is jus too many memories.. seems like its onli 10 days.. but it felt like yrs.. hmm.. trying to let go.. but can i? i will try ba.. i wan to tell u to find other gurls.. they might be more suitable to u den me.. forget me.. but…. now ur heart is already shattered.. i do not wan to make is more broken by telling u im taking time to forget u.. now its not i wanna forget u.. i jus wan to remain as frens.. is frens better mah? but i guess u wont wan it? im not sure.. its my own point of view.. i feel sad to see u getting so depressed.. but wat can i do? i dunno wat can i do.. haiz.. hmm.. now i tink time will heal ba.. i do not wan u to get deeper into the hurting and depression side.. i wan u to get up again.. not being sad.. not to hold on.. guess coz i nvr reply u all this u tink tat i wont feel sad? hmmm.. i will.. but.. i dun wan to get back le.. coz its very stressful.. its very xin ku.. im making u suffer.. im the one who cause so much trouble.. sorry for making u so heart broken.. sorry for everything i’ve done to u.. to cause u to be in this situation now.. hmmm.. sorry to let u wait.. waiting is killing.. its suffering too.. jus let go.. hmm.. jus needa get off the habit of having u around ba.. its not easy.. hmm.. in quiet times i suddenly wil tink of u.. hmm.. but i will stop myself from doing tat.. missing a person is a torture.. hmm..







can we still be frens? will we? im still trying to let go.. plz do too..











*=(((* *T.T*

typical day~

hmm.. ytd slept at around 3 and woke up at 830.. @.@
so tired.. sian.. went for service as usual.. hmm.. but nice to see zhi yong, mei ling and her sis in the same bus.. =)
hmm.. glad to see mei ling and her sis coming to church! praise God! hmmm.. neways after church liao got the audition.. hmm.. now den i realise tat its not tat easy to synchronize as a group.. hmm.. den the acting for the anni dinner was really lame.. the jokes are jus too cold tho.. but mian acting was.. wow! hmm.. really make ppl laugh their head off.. imagine urself acting as william hung cousin and must almost be like him.. @.@
neways mum ask my go home eat lunch.. den pack my cabinet.. in the end? reach home le she went out.. T.T
hmm.. went to change my blogkskin..coz the skin like got prob..hmm.. do until for quite long.. @.@
first time do blog din maple.. hmmm.. neways.. mood still not tat good yet.. hmmm.. trying not to reply his msges.. trying not to tink much.. hmm.. i dunno wat will happen.. jus pray ba..


neways gonna meet my kor later to drink coffee at 445.. hmm..















*ciao* can i make it?

im soooooooo ugly liao.. =(

hmmm.. yupz.. sian.. coz face the skin is peeling! now my face got patches of dark skin and new skin! so UGLY!!!!!!! =/

neways today work still ok ok lo.. doing boring things loh.. sian.. jus sticking the stickers again.. hmmm.. but i cant wait for end of the month but i dun wan end of the month to come so fast tho.. contradicting eh? haha.. firstly.. cant wait for end of month coz i will have $$$$$!! $.$
haha.. den after march im OFF from WORK!! woohoo! =X
hmmm.. but dun wan end of month coz march is coming! sian.. when march comes i tink my appettite will become smaller liao.. coz everyday will be going to JCS.. morning till quite late at nite.. sian.. dunno this time will do till late anot.. coz no OT pay.. den is like i wanna help but mum say nvr pay dun so STUPID work.. =.=”"
hmmm.. sian..

neways! hmm.. ytd at last things settled le ba.. things are cleared between the group.. hmmm.. but jus dun like ppl saying me.. is not a matter of how ppl will look at me or tink im like tat or so.. but is tat how will the person feel.. hmmm.. neways.. tats the past.. hmmm.. the future is still there for us to make a difference.. =)

mood is not quite good actually.. sometimes suddenly will tink of things.. memories.. hmm.. i oso dunno wat to do.. sometimes ppl will oso talk bout him too.. so jus naturally my mood goes down.. hmmm.. sian.. hmmm.. but i shall prove to myself ba.. hope i can get it over.. but i jus wan him to get over it oso ba.. dun wan him to stay there.. can someone jus tell him? haiz.. he can find a better one.. a much more suitable one.. hmmm.. things will start to change.. i dun wan him wait le.. later no jie guo.. haiz.. hmmm.. tats all le ba.. sian..









*ciao* *laundries is making me sick! =(*

*sad*

hmmm.. mood is not getting better tho.. sian.. feel quite hurt jus now.. hmmm… coz last nitez sleep quite late.. around 115 le.. wanna go sleep.. but saw my didi 2 skool uniform have not iron yet.. was tinking to myself.. whether to iron and sleep late.. or…… jus pop into my bed and get scolded the next day.. hmmm.. but i chose to iron b4 i went to bed.. but guess wat.. jus now my mum say me.. say did i iron my didi skool uniform anot.. tried to explain to her tat i did.. but she jus say today morning my kor did the ironing for my didi.. hmmm…. jus feel hurt.. i dunno wats wrong loh.. nvm..

neways! today work was boring.. hmmm.. jus dun reallly wanna work.. so bored.. everyday jus stick the company sticker on the TI calculator brochure.. hmm.. den work can onli be expressed by 1 word.. BOREDOM!!

hmmm.. tink things are getting better too huh? hmm.. jus needa be alone at times.. hmmm.. needa stay strong.. hmmm… sometimes oso not sure wat im tinking.. so many things are going on.. hmmm..

oh ya! all becoz ytd sleep late.. woke up at 9AM! so late la! actually see hp time is 825.. den say sleep for 5 mins den wake up.. in the end.. 9AM! lucky i wake up at 9.. and im not late too.. hmmm.. sian.. ok la.. go liao le….. nitez nitez……

















*ciao* *hao hao bao zhong..*

keep cool

hmmm.. im really mad.. but im gonna keep cool~! im not gonna get mad ov rsuch a person who jus walk pass my life onli.. u dun even know me well enough.. wanna bad-mouth me.. i dun give a damn shit bout u man.. i do not know wats ur motive to get near us..

neways! today work was alright.. hmmm.. doing the same thing again.. jus boring work.. but march gonna be busy.. had dinner wif mum.. hmmm.. given me some advice on things.. i will jus stay calm.. wat for waste my energy over such ppl.. hmmm.. nutting to blog now.. jus controlling my temper…





things are slowly getting fine i guess.. hmm..












*ciao* *forget me*

frens? or not?

are we still frens mah?? hmmmmmmmmmmmmm…… =/

first day of getting used to myself

hmm.. yupz.. should count tat today is the first day i guess.. first day of getting used to myself.. get use to not meeting u.. get use to not calling u during my journey to and off work and during my lunch time.. hmmm.. today work should say ok ba.. hmm.. jus tat everyday had to pass by simei mrt station.. hmmm.. memories jus start to flow back.. hmm.. but i made this choice.. i must jus bear wif it.. i guess things would be over soon? hmmm.. i jus wanna apologize for everything.. i’ve made this choice and u gotta walk it.. sorry.. hmmm.. during lunch time while going down the escalator start to recall the words u say everytime.. haha.. hmm.. first day is terrible.. hmmm.. and dinner i’ve gotta find some place to eat my food.. dunno wat to eat oso.. so called my didi down to pei me eat.. hmmm.. i know things will get better ba.. hmmm.. i do not wan to go back le.. its was me who choose it i shall walk it through.. problems will start to occur again when we are together.. im jus too depressed to go back.. even though go back there will be happy memories again.. but going back there would be more and more problems.. coz of my mum and everything.. hmmm.. so i’ve made this decision.. sometimes i do not know wat im saying or wat im talking.. like wat im doing now.. -.-

hmm.. neways i know things will get better soon.. jus tat i needa put things by stride.. hmm.. jus dun like simei the word and the place now.. there’s too much memories.. come back tat time tears jus being collected at my eyes.. hmmm.. neways there’s still a long way.. maybe ill take 1 month to get off the habit? maybe few months? i not sure.. hmmm.. i jus hope tat there are frens to be there for u now.. i tink u need more support den i do.. u need more comfort from frens den i do.. hmm.. jus dun wan to see u torturing urself if u do.. hmmm..

okies! now for today.. work! jus simply sucks! hmmm.. heard from horace(second boss) tat i will be working in march.. jus onli tat onli for march hols den can dun go work.. sian.. the first, third and last week of march they need ppl.. hmmm.. jus dun feel like it.. getting tired of work.. getting tired of waking up early.. my time is spent on work and com.. not enough sleep! =X
hmmm.. ytd went to sentosa.. got sunburn on my shoulders and my face.. sian.. carry sling bag till my right shoulder more pain.. hmmm.. now i will jus focus my time in other things.. so i wont tink much! hmmm.. later still needa do the laundries and all.. hope i can maple.. =/












*ciao* *take care of urself ya? good bbbbbbyyyyyyyyeeeeeee*

*sad? hmmm…*

hmmm.. yupz.. now i could really write how i feel.. jus put a pass for my blog.. jus dun wan alot of ppl to come here read.. hmmm.. 9th feb.. was an important date.. its was the day when i and him was really together.. but sadly.. on 15 feb.. we had a big quarrel.. and on 18th feb.. we broke.. hmmm.. i do feel sad.. guess he wont know.. coz its was me who asked for break.. hmmm.. i felt like part of me was gone.. coz i got used to calling him during my lunch break and after work.. got used to meeting him after my work and getting home around 8+ to 9.. got used to having him around me and smsing me.. hmm.. i told him tat i wanna break coz we quarrel alot and i feel stress.. hmmm.. ppl might ask y stress? hmmm.. coz i tink guys.. not onli him.. is sensitive to his gurl to get close wif other guys? and i feel stress coz sometimes the things i say or do always would make him sad.. hmmm.. firstly is tat my mum.. after quarrelling wif xj on 15.. i had a serious quarrel wif my mum on the 16.. hmmm.. i feel very sad.. very moody.. hmmm.. felt a lil better when im ok wif my mum le.. hmm.. but for him.. i dunno.. coz for me.. i feel im not a very good stead yet.. and i mean really not a good one.. im always making him sad.. always letting him qian jiu wo.. hmm.. sometimes dunno whether he know wat i’ve done.. coz of him.. my relationship wif my mum and good frens had gone quite bad.. hmmm.. but i tried.. and becoz of my mum lots of things has been restrained.. sometimes if i try to tell him.. he will feel sad.. hmm.. neways i oso guess y he will feel sad.. hmm.. tats y i said.. everything is my fault.. sometimes i really do not know wat to do.. haiz.. quarrelled wif my mum coz of him.. tats y go out oso a prob.. hmmm.. talking on the phone oso.. so see.. hmmm.. guess he had suffer much.. hmmm.. when saying break.. i tink half of my feelings is dead le.. now im trying to get rid of the habit i have.. if i say break would give him a better choice of gurls i tink its good ba.. but i tink i’ve hurt him enough.. hmmm.. he is good.. in the way tat he is willing to try.. hmmm.. not like me.. haha.. haiz.. hmm.. seems for yrs i’ve known him and got together.. but sigh~ its onli for 10 days.. and we are gone like tat.. by my words.. he was stabbed deep in the heart again.. i do not know how to help him.. i guess the more i concern him.. the more his feelings will get back again.. haiz.. hmm.. been to lots of places and there are lots of memories of me and him together.. haiz.. marina square, TM, east point, esplanade, airport, etc.. haiz.. jus the memories.. even its happy or bad.. hmm.. for the past relationship.. guess this one is the one tat i’ve changed.. changed for him i guess.. hmm.. i feel tat i’ve put in lots of effort.. hmm.. but ppl or him might tink its jus a lil compared to his sacrifice he made.. hmm.. the lunch box contain the sushi i’ve made for him is still wif me.. haiz.. it was my valentine’s day gift for him.. haiz… seeing it jus make me go into tears.. hmm.. but i guess tats the end of the relationship le.. its the end of it.. trying to get over it still… now i jus really pray tat he will get better soon.. guess i should not have even know him.. so he wont be like tat.. i onli know tat he is really depressed.. haiz.. i onli know how to make him sad make him cry.. haha.. hmm.. time check – 12:06AM , Tuesday
now its the 3rd day im on my own.. and it would be the first day tat im not gonna call him during my journey to work, lunch time, and journey back from work.. and first day of not meeting him.. haha.. so many things i gotta get over wif.. i do feel depress.. but when im wif him i feel stress.. hmm.. sometimes i dun even know wats wrong wif me.. gonna work in the morning.. now i jus hope everything would be jus fine.. guess my lunch is jus a waste of time.. shall not take my lunch.. =/




















*ciao* *jus me being depressed*

*shattered*

seems like its been a long time since i blogged.. so now i shall start blogging.. hmmm.. at first start not to blog becoz fren say once u go the net u will get virus.. hmmm.. and…………….. im busy wif maple and work.. hmmm.. yupz… talking bout work im getting tired of it.. its like i did not tell them i wanna work in march.. or should say i nvr tell them i wanna work in march.. but they did not ask and jus tell me the schedule for first week of march and the third week of march.. haiz.. its like everything sure very busy one.. now i go work is jus to pack the primary school A* maths.. hmmm.. or not is to stamp the dates on the cards for march.. so the second intake JC or MI students can keep it as a 1 yr warranty.. hmm.. but im really sick of tat job.. keep saying i wan to quit but i guess things wont turn out tat way.. coz from the situation.. they got not enough ppl to help them in the school.. hmmm.. so…………… i gotta help..


its like time passed real fast already huh? its now gonna be end of feb soon? hmmm.. and i gonna get my pay soon.. im so damn broke.. hmm.. now….. everyday oso got a problem to argue bout.. hmmm.. is like i had a big quarrel wif my mum.. hmmmmm…….. yupz.. im really depressed sometimes.. hmm.. the treatment i got.. neways.. thats the past.. hmmmm.. many many things happened.. feeling moody, sad, depressed.. all the sad things u can have.. hmm.. jus dunno wat im tinking, dunno wat im doing, dunno wat im feeling.. haha… maybe im jus like tat.. hmmm..


came back from church and now waiting to play bball den go ah ma house le.. tatas..
















*ciao* =(